01:13 

my dearest roy

amelfa
Всё начинается с чьей-либо мечты
i love you, i love you, i love you.
i've never told you. and probably never will.
but i love you.

we had a conversation with roy.
we got drunk at the party and started talking.
and had a bet that he will explain me what happened then.
i was sure he'd forget or pretend to.
i would have never reminded him.
but he came over the next day.
'will you remind me what exactly i promised to tell you?' he started right away.
'you're determined when it comes to a bottle of whiskey on stake,' i smiled.
'so? are you gonna tell me or you're afraid?' he mocked.
'you wanted to tell me what changed between us,' i said carefully.
he was silent.
'said goodbye to your whiskey?' i tried to make a joke but he was concentrated.
'no,' he shook his head finally, 'i'll tell. i've never had such a serious relationship. and i never intended to but nobody asked me if i wanted it or not, it just happened. yet i wasn't ready. i knew the next step would be to ask you to marry me. but who am i to hold you? i'm not even sure i can handle it by myself not speaking of a family. and keeping it the way it was would have been unfair - it would have been unfair to you. it's take it or leave it. and i left it - one can't bit off more than one can chew. if it was another girl i would have sent her to hell a thousand of times. but it's you. you. and i can't send you anywhere. and i hate the slightest idea.'
i had nothing to say.
'tell me honestly,' he said.
'okay. what?'
'did you have someone after me?'
'no,' i answered.
'don't lie,' he wrinckled.
'when will you get this clear that i don't lie to you?' it was my turn to ask.
'so nobody?' he asked again.
'there was an attempt ti kiss me. but i didn't want it,' i said.
'now i feel bad,' roy said.
'there's no reason,' i tried to tell.
'there is,' he cut me short, 'it's not about you. i gotta go. you owe me whiskey.'
'i do. big one. thanks for answering. i thought you wouldn't,' i could only say.
'yeah, right.'
and that was the last saw of him so far.

he loves me.
and i love him.
and it doesn't seem like going away.
and i don't want it to fade ever.
no matter how things go.

hey there.
r. i love you.

@темы: the US

URL
   

Дневник amelfa

главная