i'm freaking tired.
i have to finish my research part of program and that turned out to take much more effort than i had expected.
i want to sleep. i really do.
roy's on a business trip again. my sweet eager beaver.
that's going to be a long one. but when we call each other it's like breathing fresh air.
i don't know. we got so much closer. so fast! that's weird. really weird.
i usually need a lot of time to get to know another person. to get used to. and to accept all the pro and contra.
and make sure they're capable of taking you as you are, therefore not to show off.
and this time it was different.
maybe cause of all the complications and losses we had to go through together or for some other reason
we just became really close.
and it seems like we know each other for ages. and there's nothing we can't tell each other.
that's really odd. very very odd.
great though.
we can be romantic. we can be blown away by the whole sex thing. we can be friends. or even more of relatives.
that's exciting.
so every time i get a call from kansas where he's staying now it's like coming home again -
it feels so right, so the-way-it's-supposed-to-be kind of thing, that's where we belong.
we talk about everything ang even more than that, we make fun, we jack around, have phone sex. anything!
that's exciting.
what is exciting as well is that while roy's out of town we're catching up with jarr.
he's such a vicious person, so malice and poisonous, yet like ma big bro.
that's so sweet to have him around again.
'ya know, ma girl,' jared tells me, 'i wish your guy'd stay away for a lil' longer than was planned.'
'he'll get back as soon as he can,' i assure him then.
'c'mon,' jared punches me, 'you want to spend more time with me as well, don't you?'
'well,' i pretend to be speculating, but when he punches me again i have to admit it, 'hell, yeah!'
as for my family, we're thinking about a having vacation together after i get it all over with here.
my parents can finally take a leave and maybe visit me here so that we can go to the ocean, go south.
and maybe take roy with us. and jarr. and my sister with her fiance.
i'm actually looking for sublet houses at the moment and we'll see.
my moscow ex-classmates had this big school reunion today.
dasha called me on skype and told some crazy stories.
it all seems so far away!
i can't even imagine seeing my ex-husband artyom and all the rest in the same place at the same time.
some of them are married. been there done that haha.
but some of them already have children.
yet dasha says it's like back at high school, everybody's the same.
and i'm sure that's true. but i find it hard to believe being that far away from them.
it's like a completely other universe.
and with the whole studying-working thing i've lost some weight again. and i don't like it!
i ask jared to make me eat more, but all he does is coming over and eating all he can find in my fridge.