was talking to a friend of mine named Matthew. we know each other for years although hardly ever talk lately. but maybe that's one of the reasons why it's so easy to tell each other some private thoughts and stuff - we grown up together, but your lifes almost don't meet and cross. at least till the end of august, cause after that we'll become sort of neighbours - two years ago he moved to massachusets and - hell, yeah - that's where i'm gonna be attending this year.
he was talking about his ex-girlfriend Brigitte who told him they needed a break, which was so unexpected for him.
i told him about Alexander. and ended like, 'and now what i wanna do is to call him and to tell that i miss him so badly without a second thought, for no reason, just cause i want to'.
and Matt bursted, 'holy shit, Mel! for heaven's sake! do you get some freakin satisfaction after making things so complicated? what is that all about? explain it to me, please, cause i don't fuck get it! you wanna tell him you miss him, then what the hell? just dial his number and say it! say it for god's sake! just for the hell of it, do it'.
'what would it change? nothing? it would just make us - at best both of us and only me at worst - sad', i demanded.
'that'd be honest. didn't you to deserve it after all these years?', he replyed.
that really shouldn't be so hard to say 'i miss you' aloud, should it?