human beings are the weirdest creatures.
with animals a family, a tribe consists of those only who protect you and who will never fight against you.
you'll never be hurt by one of its' members.
except for male's struggles for survival, females or territories. but it's all about instincts, it's not perceived.
and except for that these are the ones who will support you no matter what,
ones you can rely on.
ones you can turn your back on without a single doubt.
ones you'll never be betrayed or dumped by.
and with people it's quite the opposite.
your dearest and closest ones are these who can get to you and who hurt you the most.
and vice versa.
how do we do that?
why isn't it in contravention of our nature?
we were not created to do so.
that's not the way it was assumed to be.
how did we get here? how did we overstep the initial idea?
oh jeez.
i miss him frantically, insanely.
and the awareness of the fact that he won't talk to me drives me crazy.
after i finish my study here in the library i'll go to the alcohol store and buy myself a bottle of fine white wine for the evening.
my cheeks will turn red. and i won't feel so involved at least for some time.