Всё начинается с чьей-либо мечты
maybe i had a presentiment.
i talked to ilya the day before he died.
he was laughing and making jokes but then felt bad.
'what's wrong with you, my friend?' i asked.
'i don't know,' he had it straight.
and i didn't say 'it's gonna be okay' like i usually would. i didn't.
maybe i felt it would be a lie. and how could i lie.
i said nothing. just nothing.
it's overwhelming. it defeats me.
natasha sent one more video of ilya. laughing, smiling.
with pictures and letters included.
and i have the strangest feeling like he knew it all along. he knew more than any of us, so much more than he let it show.
cause almost every line of his letters has a message.
for us, his little young silly friends.
like he's winking between the lines and grins, 'hey, cheer up! look at me, follow my example.. well, okay, that would be too much for you, but at least try! come on, kids!'
with his spirit i really do believe he sees us and grumbles at us, his friends, behaving like that.
'i wanna do videos, print his pictures, do anything i can! but i don't wanna make it final, i don't wanna draw the line,' natasha said today.
'i think, there will never be a final line,' i said honestly.
i have a plane to atlanta to catch in three hours and i'm still home.
trying to stop my tears, watching videos and listening to 'out love never ends'.
i talked to ilya the day before he died.
he was laughing and making jokes but then felt bad.
'what's wrong with you, my friend?' i asked.
'i don't know,' he had it straight.
and i didn't say 'it's gonna be okay' like i usually would. i didn't.
maybe i felt it would be a lie. and how could i lie.
i said nothing. just nothing.
it's overwhelming. it defeats me.
natasha sent one more video of ilya. laughing, smiling.
with pictures and letters included.
and i have the strangest feeling like he knew it all along. he knew more than any of us, so much more than he let it show.
cause almost every line of his letters has a message.
for us, his little young silly friends.
like he's winking between the lines and grins, 'hey, cheer up! look at me, follow my example.. well, okay, that would be too much for you, but at least try! come on, kids!'
with his spirit i really do believe he sees us and grumbles at us, his friends, behaving like that.
'i wanna do videos, print his pictures, do anything i can! but i don't wanna make it final, i don't wanna draw the line,' natasha said today.
'i think, there will never be a final line,' i said honestly.
i have a plane to atlanta to catch in three hours and i'm still home.
trying to stop my tears, watching videos and listening to 'out love never ends'.