future

[amelfa]

yeah, night roof parties are up again!
me and jarr, dozens of friends, music on macs, whiskey, mattresses and chairs, barbecue and junk food - all on the roof.
i've missed that.
and now it's half past eight and i'm only on my way to bed.

but there's something that haunts my mind.
thoughts about going back to russia. i don't want to.
but the chances that i'd have to are really high.
i'm all after staying here and doing everything for it,
but to be honest i'm absolutely not sure it's gonna work out.
and i'm afraid of the fact that someday it might turn out i have to go back.
and i'd have to come home,
see leroy making dinner or sitting with his laptop on my couch
and smiling at me with this warm welcoming smile he's capable of
when relaxed and is enjoying every split second,
look him in the eye and tell that i'm leaving,
pack everything and buy a ticket.
and get on this boston-moscow plane.

and i see that roy's feeling the same way -
we never bring this matter up,
but it's in the air.
moreover it's getting on our nerves.

dammit.

@темы: the US