Всё начинается с чьей-либо мечты
exams go one after the other.
i smoke a lot and my sleep came down to 1,5-2-hour naps wherever and whenever i get the opportunity to take it.
alexander is out of reach and past my understanding.
permanent mood swings are kinda freaking me out but i can't help it.
once i realize how much i have to do i get in a flap so that i'm capable of nothing until i get a grip of myself.
then i get myself together and sweat my guts out insanely.
all i want now is simply to get enough sleep.
and to hear soothing words. and somebody to run his fingers through my hair gently.
i miss this not mischievous and full of sarcasm but plain tender sympathy and being there for me.
but this university dead-lines and my friends always here to take me out to have some fun actually help.
and my sister is carried away with the whole russia idea.
and being aware that i don't really wanna go there that much is a nice and astonishing in a way experience.
my sister's flight is in a few hours, she calls me on her way to the airport.
'do you want me to kiss your alexander for you?', she asks me cheerfully on the phone.
'you'd better kick his ass for me if you end up in germany', i reply.
'i'm sure his butt is also pretty good', she goes on.
'i'd rather still be sure he's pretty good as a whole', i admit.
'isn't he anymore?', she sounds surprised.
'i don't know', i hesitate.
the thing is now i start to get this feeling that maybe it's all for the best.
and i hate the idea.
it's like these pathetic minds going like - we're all gonna die and it will all gonna get only worse so why don't go jump off the cliff right now?
but now that there's nothing i'm absolutely positive about, it seems like it's only for the best to be away and out of reach.
i smoke a lot and my sleep came down to 1,5-2-hour naps wherever and whenever i get the opportunity to take it.
alexander is out of reach and past my understanding.
permanent mood swings are kinda freaking me out but i can't help it.
once i realize how much i have to do i get in a flap so that i'm capable of nothing until i get a grip of myself.
then i get myself together and sweat my guts out insanely.
all i want now is simply to get enough sleep.
and to hear soothing words. and somebody to run his fingers through my hair gently.
i miss this not mischievous and full of sarcasm but plain tender sympathy and being there for me.
but this university dead-lines and my friends always here to take me out to have some fun actually help.
and my sister is carried away with the whole russia idea.
and being aware that i don't really wanna go there that much is a nice and astonishing in a way experience.
my sister's flight is in a few hours, she calls me on her way to the airport.
'do you want me to kiss your alexander for you?', she asks me cheerfully on the phone.
'you'd better kick his ass for me if you end up in germany', i reply.
'i'm sure his butt is also pretty good', she goes on.
'i'd rather still be sure he's pretty good as a whole', i admit.
'isn't he anymore?', she sounds surprised.
'i don't know', i hesitate.
the thing is now i start to get this feeling that maybe it's all for the best.
and i hate the idea.
it's like these pathetic minds going like - we're all gonna die and it will all gonna get only worse so why don't go jump off the cliff right now?
but now that there's nothing i'm absolutely positive about, it seems like it's only for the best to be away and out of reach.