Всё начинается с чьей-либо мечты
video calls only make it worse.
4 hours of slow movements and conversations with necessary for the distance to be covered pauses.
and then 'disconnect'. as if nothing happened.
you didn't kiss him goodbye. didn't touch his temple.
he didn't kiss your cheekbone. didn't whisper 'love you' while kissing your ear.
it's all so wrong! so fucking wrong! you can't accept it.
there's no way your conversation can be ended like that. with that nothing.
as if it all was just a vision. a malicious jest.
only worse.
you forget about the whole distance while talking ans seeing. you try to catch every word.
you smile. you both smile.
you don't think of hurrying to tell everything cause he's here, you'll have so many more opportunities.
and then - bang - nothing.
and then you're broken. illusion faded away and you with it.
you're betrayed, deceived.
he wasn't actually there, the universe grines.
you talked to him. but he was so damn far away.
it's driving crazy.
it's impossible. it can't be that way.
this malaise haunts your mind, you keep replaying it all over again and trying to grasp it.
and you can't. can't replay it. can't add anything.
cause he's hot here. he's there. really far away. away and living his life.
life that once was in so many ways yours.
life you have so little to do with now.
and the perception of the last one tears you into pieces.
nope.
all or nothing.
no more videos.
i attached a post-it to my web-camera.
and i love him.
and i'm really stupid.
4 hours of slow movements and conversations with necessary for the distance to be covered pauses.
and then 'disconnect'. as if nothing happened.
you didn't kiss him goodbye. didn't touch his temple.
he didn't kiss your cheekbone. didn't whisper 'love you' while kissing your ear.
it's all so wrong! so fucking wrong! you can't accept it.
there's no way your conversation can be ended like that. with that nothing.
as if it all was just a vision. a malicious jest.
only worse.
you forget about the whole distance while talking ans seeing. you try to catch every word.
you smile. you both smile.
you don't think of hurrying to tell everything cause he's here, you'll have so many more opportunities.
and then - bang - nothing.
and then you're broken. illusion faded away and you with it.
you're betrayed, deceived.
he wasn't actually there, the universe grines.
you talked to him. but he was so damn far away.
it's driving crazy.
it's impossible. it can't be that way.
this malaise haunts your mind, you keep replaying it all over again and trying to grasp it.
and you can't. can't replay it. can't add anything.
cause he's hot here. he's there. really far away. away and living his life.
life that once was in so many ways yours.
life you have so little to do with now.
and the perception of the last one tears you into pieces.
nope.
all or nothing.
no more videos.
i attached a post-it to my web-camera.
and i love him.
and i'm really stupid.